On our journey through life there are people, circumstances, events, and experiences that lead to the lost of self. Often leaving us scratching our heads and questioning what happened and why and more importantly, how do I fix this mess. While searching for the self I was, I learned about who I had become as a result of the people, circumstances, events, experiences and choices that I made. There are times when I was astonished by life. While at other times I was completely devastated. Perhaps, the most frightening time is when I discovered that I’d lost me. My true self had been buried deep down under all the pains, disappointments, rejections, demands of the roles that I played and failures I’d experienced.
The discovery process began by sorting all the mess that I labeled chaos, confusion, stress and pain. It felt like I was doing someone’s laundry that had been piling up on the basement floor for years. There was no order to the piles; things were all over the place. That’s exactly what I felt when I lost self – things in my life were all over the place. The odor from the laundry stunk to high heavens. I had to come up with a sorting system that meant that I had to put all the like things in their own separate piles. This way I was able to see the size of each pile and clean them up one at a time. It was hard work and I knew that it would take some time to get all the mess cleaned and put away. As I began to handle the first pile of laundry I discovered that some of the stuff wasn’t worth me holding onto. Likewise, during the search for self I had to throw away many things that were not worth holding onto. I began to realize that some of the pain I was still holding onto had to be thrown out in order for me to move closer toward my greatest life. Some things just had to be thrown out.
I invite you to get nice and cozy as I share this valuable experience with you. I hope that you are able to relate to some, if not all, parts of what I have been through, realize that you are not alone and find comfort in rediscovering who you were created to be (Your greatest gift!). Come along with me as I rediscover the true me.
In this book I will attempt to express my thoughts and emotions in a way that the reader can feel what I have felt. I have changed the names of those that have touched my life in effort to protect them.
I have wanted to write this book for quite some time and it seemed that there was always something that kept my pen from the paper. This time is different; I know this is the time for me to share these invaluable lessons with you.
I chose this topic because loosing myself and the rediscovery process was huge for me. It was one of those ah-ha moments. It was revelation that changed my life. One of those things that you cannot contain, you just have to share it with others. At the time that I received the “ah-ha” I started looking at those around me and saw a need to help others prevent loosing themselves and help others rediscover themselves.
Losing yourself can happen before you are even aware of what has happened. It reminds me of a small child who becomes lost at an amusement park. They are right where they are supposed to be and within in minutes, something happens and they are suddenly lost. The child goes into a state of panic and begins to cry not knowing which way to turn. As adults, we too, get lost often before we know it and once we become aware that we are lost we go into a state of panic wondering how, why and which way to turn. I call that internal space that we live in between our awareness and rediscovery, in between time. The in between time can be filled with a wide variety of emotions. These emotions can include fear, anxiety, confusion, pain, frustration, depression and anger. It can appear to last for an eternity. There is no set time for us to remain in this space. For me, I had to live by faith to get through this time.
Therapists call good mental health the ability to see options. Often when we lose self, we also lose sight of our options. Finding the options is a process in and of it.
Remember all you need to begin, you already have.
“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb that’s where the fruit is”
-H Jackson Browne
